Saturday, January 23, 2016

Parenting and Principles

When you're in the process of bringing up a daughter, your long-term goal is to create a self-confident, self-reliant' autonomous human being. You want her to be able to stand on her own feet and be secure enough not to be pushed around by a sweet talking guy who requires a submissive woman.

In the end, you want someone autonomous, not someone who will spew your own prejudices and fears in some kind of uncomfortable obeisance.

When my daughter was in second grade she told me her hero was Martin Luther King. Since 30% of my college students were African-American, it gave me a good feeling. But I didn't necessarily expect it to guarantee a core belief in the  equality of man. My attitudes were formed by the Sunday school song that went: "Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Brown and yellow, black and white, all are equal in his sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world." I always believed that was true. However, I knew my daughter should find her own truths.

That's why when she was making up a chart of core beliefs in her Marriage and Family Therapy Masters program, I was thrilled to see the words "Black lives matter."

It's good when you're daughter becomes autonomous but it's even better when somehow she ends up endorsing your own principles. However or whenever that happens.

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