Tuesday, January 21, 2014

In a Dark World, a Spark of Hope

The Methodist Biblical scholar said,  "You know what I thought of when Pope Francis moved to clean up the Vatican Bank?"
"Jesus throwing the moneychangers out of the Temple?" said the Presbyterian theologian.
"Exactly," the Methodist replied. "It's just another example of his trying to have his church follow the teachings of Our Lord."
"He's appointing new cardinals. I don't think he wants to have miscreants like Roger Mahoney seen as representing his church."
"Of course this means we'll have to make sure our people are listening more to the words of Jesus than their own egos," he said.
"Every year I watch that old Cary Grant movie, 'The Bishop's Wife' to make sure I don't forget."
"Maybe Francis is here to lead the way for all of us."

Friday, January 10, 2014

Christie Advises Obama

Gov. Chris Christie was in the oval office the other day advising Barack on the Afghan pullout.
"I don't like being in Afghanistan and I hate dealing with Karzai," Barack said.
"So leave. Have all the soldiers pack up their equipment and head for home," Christie said.
"But John McCain and Lindsay Graham are going to be angry." Barack said.
"So what. Let's spread a rumor they're part of a homosexual Senate group," Christie said, as he rubbed his belly like the Buddha.
"But that's a lie, and anyways homosexuals are okay with me," Barack said.
"Do you want them giving you trouble?" asked Christie.
"No, it's like the Keystone pipeline. I want to start constructing that, but people will get mad if I do," said Barack.
"You don't have to get your hands dirty on this. I've got four people who are unemployed who know just what to do," said Christie.
"You trust them?"
"Believe me, if I want something to happen, they do it without asking," said Christie.
"How come you're being so helpful?"
"Well you aren't allowed to run against me and remember the big hug I gave you?" asked Christie.
"Yeah, that felt good," said Barack.
"Just leave everything to me." Christie said. "By the way, can I have more of that pecan pie?"