Gov. Chris Christie was in the oval office the other day advising Barack on the Afghan pullout.
"I don't like being in Afghanistan and I hate dealing with Karzai," Barack said.
"So leave. Have all the soldiers pack up their equipment and head for home," Christie said.
"But John McCain and Lindsay Graham are going to be angry." Barack said.
"So what. Let's spread a rumor they're part of a homosexual Senate group," Christie said, as he rubbed his belly like the Buddha.
"But that's a lie, and anyways homosexuals are okay with me," Barack said.
"Do you want them giving you trouble?" asked Christie.
"No, it's like the Keystone pipeline. I want to start constructing that, but people will get mad if I do," said Barack.
"You don't have to get your hands dirty on this. I've got four people who are unemployed who know just what to do," said Christie.
"You trust them?"
"Believe me, if I want something to happen, they do it without asking," said Christie.
"How come you're being so helpful?"
"Well you aren't allowed to run against me and remember the big hug I gave you?" asked Christie.
"Yeah, that felt good," said Barack.
"Just leave everything to me." Christie said. "By the way, can I have more of that pecan pie?"