Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns today jointly announced the creation of the Armstrong/Edwards award for creative communication. "Since Lance Armstrong and John Edwards have set the standard for obfuscation in the new America, we believe an award that honors them is important," said Willie Sutton, a company spokesman.
Sutton also announced that Congressmen and investment bankers would not be eligible to receive the prize because they are considered "professionals."
Bernie Madoff, responded from prison, saying, "it's about time that people recognized the new American reality, instead of getting all upset and judgmental."
The companies also said neither presidential candidate was eligible to compete for what will surely be a prestigious award.