Monday, September 20, 2010

On Chinese Women

This blog is about Chinese women, who can be as different as night and day. So, anything I say in this blog may have nothing to do with the Chinese woman you’re dating or marrying. If you’re lucky you can end up with a woman who would stop a bullet for you, something you might not expect from a career driven American woman
The first thing to know is they aren’t Japanese, and a lot of Chinese guys think marrying a Japanese woman would be really wonderful because she would greet you at the door with a shot of Jim Beam and express her respect for you. Get over it. This is a Chinese woman who is probably very good at what she personally does and doesn’t have time to make you think you are the greatest thing since Brad Pitt.
In fact, she’s going to tell you the truth. You won’t ever hear “Well you should have known what I was thinking.” They don’t believe in your omniscience, and neither should you. If they think you’re getting fat, they’ll say “Ni hen pang” which translates into “you’re fat.” There will be no beating around the bush.
I know a woman who asks a guy how much money he has by the third date. If this was an American woman you’d never date her again. But she’s Chinese, so if you hang in  with her  you should give up any hope you’re gonna stash some Benjamin’s some place where she’ll never find them.
Don’t be surprised when they do something really thoughtful for you that you never expected. She’s part of a unit where keeping morale up is a duty.
One female PhD who lives in China told me what she was interested in from a man. Here they are in rank order:
1.       He has to have a good, secure job.
2.       He should have a house
3.       He should own a car
I asked her what about love.  She said that it would probably come in time, but it wasn’t a deal breaker. (Remember, we aren’t talking about Chinese women who grew up in America, this is about people who grew up in Mainland China.)
The longer a Chinese woman is in America, the more she wants to hear I love you.  I always defend the Chinese husband by saying that American men will tell women they love them if they like their dog.. How can I explain to her that her husband grew up in a society where you don’t do that very often?  America is a society where a guy can say, “I love you, pass the bacon.”
There are a lot of great benefits from marrying a Chinese woman, but I’m not going to spill the beans, because then American men will all want Chinese wives and in the countryside of China there are already too few women. Americans can’t always have more and more of everything good. So a lot of men will have to live with “You should have known what I was thinking.”

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