I have a friend in Beijing who is very proud that his wife
has a Masters in Architecture from Peking University. I'm very proud of my
wife's achievements.
But in China, and sometimes in America, having a wife who's
achieved more than you have, seems to be a problem for men. In China men seem
to feel mei mianzi (loss of face) when their wife has an advanced degree and
they don't.
There is a wonderful article today in the New York Times
about matchmaking In China. In one interview a Chinese father, whose eldest
daughter can't get married because she has a doctorate in economics, forbids
his younger daughter from attending graduate school to guarantee someone will
marry her.
I once received acupuncture from a man who had been a med
school professor in China. His wife, who he treated like chattel, had been an
orthopedic surgeon in China. She noticed that that the acupuncture was not
working. Making sure her husband was in the other room, she said,
"cortisone shot." Maybe it was okay when he was a med school
professor for her to be an orthopedic surgeon. But now that he was an acupuncturist,
it was essential she become a nonentity.
There are men in
America who are threatened by their wife's achievements. It is such an outdated
concept that I feel sorry for the guys who are just looking for a pretty face
and someone who keeps quiet when he talks.
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